Attack of the Ants

 Today, before class, I was sitting innocently at my desk perfecting the appropriate mix of optimism and disinterest in my expression while listening to my ipod. I kept feeling this light tickling sensation on my forehead, which I dismissed as a stray hair trying to free itself from my scalp to fulfill its dream of being DNA evidence. I surveyed the classroom, taking in the mediocrity of my fellow students, and I suppose I was surveyed in response. Make note: other people looked at me.



After about 7-ish minutes, I was starting to become very annoyed with this errant hair, and began to rub vigorously at my scalp, only to discover a grotesquely large, red ant had attached itself to my hand! It had been CRAWLING ON MY FACE for who knows how long! People saw me! They said nothing! Class hadn't even started yet! There was absolutely nothing preventing them from informing of me of this ant dancing atop my noggin. Who were these heartless souls who declined to mention I had a giant beast of an ant climbing the ant-mountain that is my forehead!? I can't say. College is a cruel mistress.

Anyway, I flung this ant off my hand and I presumed that would be the last I would see of it. Later on, though, the devilish insect itself made an appearance on the empty desk in front of me. I was distracted by my teacher's teachings (how dare he presume to teach at a time like that), and when I glanced back later, the ant was climbing along the black sweatshirt-encased arm of the boy two seats ahead of me. A part of me truly feared for his safety, and longed to stand up, demanding class to halt until I had rid the classroom of this pesky ant (I had now begun thinking of him as "Claude"), but I did no such thing. Instead, I watched with horror as Claude climbed up the boy's arm, waving his antennae defiantly one last time before disappearing behind the other side of the boy's shoulder.

I do not know what became of the boy, or, more importantly, Claude, but I do hope they are both okay. In reflection, Claude was just living his ant life, oblivious of who or what he was crawling on. My classmates, though, have no excuse for their failure to inform me of Claude. Thus, they shall become my enemies forever the next five minutes.