The Cat

There was this cat on the sparse patch of grass outside my apartment building. A Chartreux, I believe.

So I went up to the cat and was all, “You know cat, you and your outdoor feline comrades are currently responsible for the alarming decline of the wild bird population in the United States.”

The cat gave me this look that was all, “I don’t give a shit. Get off my sparse patch of grass.” I was a little offended, but that’s just the nature of some cats.

I happen to look up and see said cat’s owner standing in the doorway of her apartment giving me a curious look. I suddenly remembered ‘something important’ I had to do, and fled the scene posthaste.

The moral of this story: It’s perfectly fine to lecture household pets.
(There’s a 66% chance this tale stems only from my imagination.)